


Don't you call him baby

by ayellowcurtain



Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Alpha!Senne, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Light Smut, M/M, alpha!sander, also ruts and heats, omega!robbe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23971438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayellowcurtain/pseuds/ayellowcurtain
Summary: They've met each other, their dates were supposed to be surgical, just to help with their...needs. But feelings always get in the way, don't they?And that's when things get complicated.
Relationships: Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans
Comments: 32
Kudos: 204





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok! So hi again!   
> Welcome back!   
> This one is another wild one, don't know where it's going, where it'll end, but I posted the first chapters on tumblr, but posting here too for an archive. It's my first ever attempt at Alpha x Omega dynamic so please be kind!!   
> You can always find me at @ayellowcurtain on tumblr <3

* * *

“Robbe, Robbe…come, I’ll take care of you.” Sander manages to carefully keep Robbe away from him, whining and pouting, but he settles back on the mattress, sitting right in front of Sander, and Sander smiles, Robbe can behave himself when he wants. 

They’ve been doing it for way too long, Sander knows that every inch of Robbe’s body is probably sore, he can see how his muscles are all constantly contracted and his eyes are even more hazy than normal, he’s struggling to keep them open. “Come on, go to your nest…” 

Robbe obeys, crawling back to the huge nest he made earlier, Sander can’t help but look at his ass, hidden underneath the thin layer of fabric from his underwear, wiggling as he crawls back inside his nest of sheets and blankets and pillows. 

It clearly bothers him how messy it is, Sander feels a little guilty about it. That’s just how things tend to happen when they meet. There’s no concern about their surroundings, they crash into each other and have sex for hours and hours. Robbe quickly moves around, making everything comfy and neat again, his brows furrowed and meeting in the middle, and Sander just watches. 

Robbe is the best thing he ever had, some would say Sander is addicted, always coming back to the same boy. He could have so many people, anyone he wants, really, but he keeps ending up here, in this bed, with this small, soft, cute boy. Robbe finally settles, looking around himself, at his perfectly comfy and inviting nest. 

He sprawls on his nest, with his legs open, relaxed on each side of his nest, and Sander smiles, so tempted to ruin him again, but Robbe is extremely sleepy, even if he’s fighting it, Sander knows he’s probably just minutes away from falling asleep. 

“Come…” Robbe whispers, with a raspy voice that Sander knows he ruined an hour ago. He crawls in between Robbe’s legs, softly kissing all the way from his navel to his chest, being reminded of what happened tonight. 

He was a little bit out of it, letting his hormones do whatever they needed to calm down a little, but at the same time, he was hyper-aware of what he was doing the second he bit Robbe’s chest. This was it, he remembers thinking at the moment: Robbe was his, nobody else would have this boy the way he has and he just… _did it._

Sander doesn’t regret it, not even for a second, but he knows he changed their lives forever. Even if Robbe ever tries to live a happy normal life and marry another man, he’ll always be Sander’s. And he can’t help but feel happy about it. 

It doesn’t feel like this - whatever they’re doing, constantly together - will ever end and Sander turned that feeling into reality, that’s it. 

Robbe didn’t complain, quite the opposite, he came with a loud moan escaping his lips, arching his back and digging his short nails on the back of Sander’s neck. Sander still feels his skin burning in the back of his head.

“You need to come closer,” Robbe whispers, his lips brushing against Sander’s forehead makes him look at Robbe, with his cute, brown, puppy eyes, afraid to be misunderstood, as if asking permission to ask Sander to come closer. Sander does as Robbe wants him to, now both of them completely inside the nest, tangled together. 

They stay in silence for a little, but Sander can almost feel Robbe opening his mouth a few times, stuttering in silence. 

“Talk.” 

Robbe wets his lips with the tip of his tongue, holding Sander’s hair lightly. “Can…can you stay tonight? I know you have a lot of…other places you can sleep in, but can you stay here?” 

Sander smiles, coming closer, teasing Robbe with an almost kiss, loving how Robbe opens his mouth, holding his breath. “You want me to stay, cutie? To cuddle with you?” 

“Yes. Please, Sander.” He looks through his lashes and it sends shivers down Sander’s spine. “I promise I’ll be good.” 

Sander sighs, putting his forehead against Robbe’s shoulder, feeling his lips kissing his temple a second later. This wouldn’t be the first time he stays for the night, it’s really hard to leave Robbe every single time, but tonight feels a lot different. Sander feels like he might be saying a lot if he stays tonight.

He feels Robbe stretching himself and Sander looks at what he’s doing. His hand is almost close enough to grab Sander’s phone on the nightstand. 

“Robbe, _no._ ” He instantly reaches for Robbe's hand and puts his phone back on the nightstand. 

“Tell Britt you’re staying...” Robbe answers bitterly, looking at him again. 

“I see you’re getting cocky now.” Sander moves aside, laying on his stomach to be able to reach for his phone, turning it off and leaving it on the nightstand.

Robbe doesn’t answer, just adjusts himself to properly lie down, avoiding to meet Sander’s eyes and it makes his heart shrink inside his chest. Britt means nothing, she’s in the past, but Robbe just can’t seem to forget about her and the relationship Sander had with her. 

He looks at Sander with kind eyes again, wandering around his face and hair for a while, playing with the strands of hair falling on his eyes, but their eyes finally meet. 

“You are mine.” 

Sander doesn’t answer, he doesn’t think he needs to. He’s staying and that’s enough of an answer. 

“Tomorrow you’ll take a nice, warm and relaxing bath. I’m going to see if I can schedule a massage to help you with the sore muscles…” Sander turns around to lie on his back again and Robbe comes closer, his fingertips pressing against the side of Sander’s neck, trying to pull him closer. 

“No, I don’t want none of that…!” 

“Hey, stop being greedy.” Sander complains and Robbe whines, pulling the sheet to cover himself, blinking very slowly now, almost asleep.

“You know what I want.” He whispers firmly and Sander smiles, noticing how Robbe inhales and exhales, emptying his lungs, finally relaxing his body on top of Sander’s.

“And I’ll see if you deserve it.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!   
> Thank you so much for the comments on the first chapter, I'll get to answering them as soon as I post this new one <3 
> 
> Things can get messier and messier....

* * *

The building from the outside is very much abandoned. Sander is used to it by now, but this is not a welcoming neighborhood, not at all. It’s hard for him to imagine Robbe walking these streets all by himself every day and night. 

His house looks like a huge volt from the outside. A big, dark door with so many locks, but inside is the complete opposite. 

Warm tones in almost every piece of furniture, white walls, his mattress was on the floor when they met, but Sander couldn’t stop complaining about it every time he saw it and so he bought a bed frame and helped Robbe build it during one of their late night. Robbe was so excited when they finished building that he even brought new, expensive sheets and comforter. Sander can still remember perfectly: him walking around his flat wearing only his boxers, carrying a comforter that was basically covering his entire body as he dragged to the washing machine, struggling to fit all of it inside at once.

Sander feels safe behind this door. He takes a deep breath, accepting his defeat that Robbe has his entire heart under his control to do whatever he’s pleased. 

He stares at the door for another second, hoping it’ll calm his feelings a little bit, bringing him back to his normal. When he knocks, he almost instantly hears someone running inside, unlocking the thousand of locks, opening the door quickly. Robbe smiles and Sander steps inside, hugging him and Robbe climbs on him, putting his legs around Sander’s waist, letting him carry Robbe inside, slamming the door behind them, not caring to deal with the locks, Robbe is safe when they're together.

“I thought you got lost…” Robbe whines and Sander puts him against a wall, feeling Robbe’s legs slowly slip back to the floor, standing on his tiptoes, resting their foreheads together. Sander smiles, playing with Robbe’s hair, closing his eyes. 

“Never. I know the way to your house by heart now.” He feels Robbe’s lips going up against his, making him smile too. They stay like that for a minute and when Sander finally opens his eyes, Robbe is staring at him and they crash into each other, hungry like always. 

-

He still remembers the night they met, Britt was there, but suddenly, Sander had found something so, _so much_ more interesting. Britt could argue, complain, threaten to break things up or ruin his life, but Sander was tired of pretending she had any control over him. He was the alpha and he had no shame in showing her that, walking away and asking her to stay away from him that night.

They finally met a few minutes later through mutual friends on the other side of the club, Milan introduced them and during that night, Sander never left Robbe’s side again. He kissed Robbe’s ear and asked him to go anywhere where they could be alone, he made sure to talk with his softest voice, letting Robbe make his decision on his own. Robbe nodded eagerly and they were out, Sander held his hand and dragged him out of there.

At that time he didn’t know a one night stand would turn into a bond that’ll keep them connected forever now. He was just so curious about Robbe and Robbe got so easily attached, it was the perfect mixture for a disaster. It was an amazing night, the best sex of his life, Robbe was so willing to make both of them feel so good, but Sander wouldn’t change because of a good fuck. He didn’t stay for cuddles or breakfast in bed. 

For a few weeks, they didn’t see each other, but they had their numbers, Sander kept finding himself thinking about the boy. Robbe was the one to call him, very late at night and just by his voice, Sander knew what was happening. He could smell it from miles away while biking to the old building, and as he pedaled faster, he thought he was going to go insane before getting to Robbe’s. It didn’t happen, but it was close.

After the first call, it started happening often. Sander would drop anything - or _anyone_ \- to rush to Robbe every single time. After three months, he stayed one night, slept with Robbe’s head on his chest. He didn’t make breakfast, but Robbe brought some coffee and toasts in bed. 

Britt was an accident that happened a few times in between his late nights with Robbe, more times than he's proud to admit. It's just hard for Sander to give up his old habits like that. One didn’t know about the other, obviously, and Sander wasn’t going to tell, he could do whatever he wanted, as a single alpha. Until the day Robbe ran into him and Britt out having a few drinks. He just saw that: two people having drinks together, but he probably smelled something that Sander wasn't showing. They were “friends” that had sex sometimes, but with Robbe was completely different. 

He was so angry after that, it took months for him to even give Sander the benefit of the doubt. Sander knew he was in heat and he was just waiting for a call that never came. 

It was his natural instinct to send Robbe flowers, chocolate, anything he could want, hoping for a thank-you call or message. 

After long, painful months, Robbe’s name had finally popped on the screen of his phone. When he heard his voice, Sander panicked a little. Robbe was crying, begging him to rush to meet him. It always felt different, magical even, but that night was when everything changed. 

They took their time, apologized to each other, kissed for hours and hours, always looking into each other’s eyes. Sander can still remember perfectly the sound that Robbe made when he bit him. 

-

Robbe is not a morning person. He wakes up around lunchtime, always so hungry. Sander is a terrible cook, he never really learned how to do it, but he spent an hour or two watching videos this morning and it can’t be so hard that he doesn’t know how to follow recipes. 

He follows every step very carefully and with no rush, stopping and rewatching the videos when he needs to. He keeps the food inside the oven while he makes a big salad, hoping it won’t take too long for Robbe to wake up now or they’ll eat cold food. 

“Hmmmm” Robbe’s voice fills the small kitchen instantly, making it warmer. His arms come around Sander’s waist and he could feel Robbe's weight pressed against his back, his soft lips pressed against the back of his neck. “This is nice…breakfast in bed.” 

“It’s more like lunch in bed and you don’t have a table for us to put the food and eat, so I guess the bed is our only option.” Sander tries to explain, trying to make this a logical decision, not thinking about the fact that he's still here, making food for someone else he shouldn't care about. Robbe smiles and kisses his neck, holding him tighter. 

“Yeah, keep lying to yourself.” 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos, everyone! It truly means a lot as I grew attached to this fic.   
> Anyway, thank you!   
> Come talk to me on tumblr at @ayellowcurtain <3

* * *

Sander bites his nails, walking around his flat. He’s overthinking and that’s not his normal. Usually, he trusts his instincts and does whatever he has to do, no feelings, no remorse. 

Somehow this small, helpless omega changed something in him that not even Sander can figure out what it is and what exactly changed. They’re still using the heats as excuses for most of their “meetings”, but it’s different. Even when they’re apart, they feel each other, the distance doesn’t feel real most of the time, so they don't have to be together to _be together_. Sander would like to think he knows Robbe in a way nobody else ever will, he feels constantly close even when they’re not. 

Robbe is fine, in a ridiculously good mood for a normal weekday, but Sander wants to go see him _right now._ They ran into each other while leaving college and Sander knows what he smelled. Some sort of strong paint remover and _Senne_. 

It’s not his problem, but...it is and Sander just wants to go there and just see if everything is alright. 

-

Sander would like to think he’s a rational person. His friends always complain about how cold-hearted he can be and he wishes they were right just this time. 

Robbe's flat is a mess, the few furniture pieces he owns pushed to the side, closer to the kitchen, wrapped in sheets of thick plastic already covered in dust. The biggest wall with blue tape around the two big windows to keep it from being stained with paint. Sander watches as Senne tries to paint Robbe’s face white with a big brush, holding Robbe down against the floor easily, both of them laughing, trying to play fight and Sander can barely see straight.

He doesn’t want to make a scene, Senne is a close friend of Robbe’s, like a big brother to him, but it's hard to see someone, especially another alpha, trying to have any control over Robbe, keeping him against his will against the floor, even if it's just a joke. 

Sander comes closer - they were so focused on their fight that barely gave Sander even a second of their attention - and he stands in between the two when they finally get up and tries to gently keep Senne away from Robbe, creating a safe distance between the two, standing in front of Robbe. Senne frowns and gently - and ironically - pushes Sander’s hand down, away from his chest so he can come closer, standing right in front of Sander. 

“Hey, hey!” Robbe rushes in between them, still panting and laughing nervously, his back against Sander’s chest, both hands against Senne’s chest. “Boys, let’s all just take a deep breathe, yeah?” 

He's scared, Sander can smell it clearly, but still risking himself to keep two of the people closest to him from fighting. Senne steps back just because Robbe is asking him to, dropping his brush on the floor, cleaning his hands on his old clothes. “I’ll talk to you later, Robbe.” 

“Y-yeah.” Robbe takes a few steps forward, away from Sander, his eyes following Senne until there’s a loud noise of the front door being slammed. “And you, stop growling!” He whispers as soon as the door is closed and only then Sander realizes what he was doing, relaxing and looking at Robbe. 

Robbe rushes to go wash his arms and face and Sander walks around the now big and empty room for a minute, looking at the wall, the old yellow tone the last owners painted still showing through the white paint. The wall definitely needs a lot of work still. 

As soon as Robbe is back, Sander walks up to him and Robbe just looks into his eyes, not saying a word, but clearly trying to hold back a smile. 

“You could have asked me. I could help you.” Robbe smiles, letting himself be cornered against where two walls meet, looking up, making sure to brush his lips against Sander’s when he whispers. 

“You know it wouldn’t work. We can get easily distracted.” 

Sander closes his eyes, focusing on feeling Robbe’s warm breathe directly against his face, especially his lips, and nothing else.“Fuck it.” 

He opens his eyes when Robbe doesn’t answer, nor kisses him. 

“When are you going to see it?” He asks and Sander frowns, completely lost about what Robbe is talking about. 

“What?”

“That we’re together.” Sander doesn’t know what to say and so Robbe continues “We never talk about it, you can act like it was an accident all you want, but you know. And your biggest problem is that I know that you know what I’m talking about. and I know I’m right.” 

Sander looks at Robbe’s lips, knowing well how he’s feeling so sure of his words, so calm and confident, so everything Sander always wants him to be, not just around Sander, but because Robbe doesn't deserve to feel so insecure like he always does. And he knows all of that just because he bit Robbe. 

He bumps their foreheads together and steps back. Robbe is right, he does know what Sander is feeling so why tell him? Sander is problematic and he doesn't want to fuck this up too badly. 

He looks around, at the mess Robbe and Senne made and he finally finds a brush that feels like the right one to start. 

“I’m gonna paint us on this big wall of yours.” 

“You will?” Robbe tilts his head to the side, sounding so excited about it, with a soft smile slowly making an appearance and Sander smiles, nodding his head. “Can I watch?” 

Sander only nods his head again. Robbe pushes himself from away the walls, walking around him in small circles, getting on Sander's back suddenly, his hands snaking around his neck firmly, burying his face against his neck, and his legs comfortably sitting around Sander's waist, letting Sander do all the work while he watches. 


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

Robbe knows he shouldn’t be here. Jens’ place is still very close to his, but it’s not his place, he can’t just make his nest here. They’re best friends so if anything happens, Robbe knows Jens will play dead and pretend he’s not seeing anything. 

He didn’t ask questions when Robbe suddenly showed up at his door wearing Sander’s sweater either, hugging himself in search of Sander’s smell. The way Jens looked at him, raising his eyebrows and rolling his eyes as he let him in showed Robbe how everyone is beginning to understand his weird relationship with Sander. 

When Jens gets up to get some beers, Robbe wriggles on the couch, grabbing a pillow to put on his lap. Sander didn’t answer his calls earlier, not even his texts before leaving the house. 

Robbe was trying to get a reaction out of him, any reaction, but Sander ignored everything, even when Robbe left a message telling that he was going to Jens’ for the night. 

“Here you go.” Jens offers the beer and throws himself back on the couch, occupying most of the space, not bothering that Robbe is hugging himself, trying to hide what’s going on inside his pants. 

He opens his beer and jolts on the couch when his phone starts ringing. There’s no hi, no soft voice, Robbe can hear through his phone how pissed Sander is. “Where are you?” 

He drinks his beer before answering, trying to get himself an extra second to sound calmer than how he feels. “At Jens', as I told you I would be.” 

“Why are you at Jens?” Sander is pissed, but that’s what Robbe wanted. He was looking for Sander the whole day and he didn’t reply. He knows how Robbe feels when he’s about to go into heat and he didn’t care! 

“Because I can.”

Sander sighs obnoxiously on the other side and Robbe bites his lower lip not to smile. 

-

They walk in silence, so close together their arms keep bumping into each other. Robbe holds his own hand tightly so he can keep himself from holding Sander’s hand, pulling him closer. 

“We were far away from each other. He didn’t even hug me to say hi.” He explains because he knows why Sander is angry. He kept looking at Jens and then at Robbe, searching his body for something he never found. Robbe would never, ever hook up with Jens, they’re like brothers, but Sander doesn’t like Jens touching Robbe, ever. 

“You really like to test me, huh?” Robbe huffs, turning around on the side walking, right in front of Sander, holding his jacket with one hand, pulling him closer, smiling against his lips. 

“I’m not going to sit at home while you go around, having fun with God knows who.” Sander snorts and rolls his eyes, letting Robbe keep him close. His lips turn into a cocky smile, raising his eyebrows. 

“Are you jealous?” 

Robbe slightly nods his head, acting like he didn’t just do that. “You were the one almost breaking into Jens’ place to go after me.” 

“Because you shouldn’t be there and you know it. You shouldn’t be leaving your house, not tonight.” Sander whispers and Robbe’s body warms with comfort and so much love, but he wants to tease just a little more. 

“I’m gonna repeat myself: I’m not going to sit at home while you go around.”

Sander closes his eyes, sighing, talking a little more impatiently, but still close and with a hint of affection. “I wasn’t _around_ , Robbe. And we’re going home now, that’s what matters.”

Sander lets Robbe pull him down, closer. Robbe licks his neck slowly, smiling before biting right under his jaw, leaving a mark on his pale skin. 

“Ouch! Robbe!” Sander gently pushes him away, keeping a safe distance between them, but the corner of his lips are slightly turning up. 

-

The sun outside feels nice against his skin. Robbe feels alive again, just the right amount of sore and loved and cared for. He opened the balcony door before sitting on the soft carpet, opened just enough to get some fresh air in, crossing his legs in front of him, watching as his curtains danced around with the wind, letting him see the outside world every once in a while, but he still keeps the curtains closed, Sander is still asleep. Or at least he thought so. 

Sander grunts and Robbe looks over his shoulder, smiling when he sees Sander’s hand touching the mattress in search of him. Sander opens one eye and smiles when he finds Robbe. 

“Come back to bed…” He whispers with a raspy voice, readjusting his pillow underneath his head, looking the other way but patting Robbe’s pillow. His hair is still all messy from last night, Robbe was holding it a little too tightly. 

“You miss me?” Robbe asks again his shoulder, watching as Sander moves his legs under the sheets. 

“Yeah, your body is warm and perfect. Come back. Now!” Robbe can hear the smile on his voice and so he gets up slowly, stretching his whole body as he stands up, readjusting his underwear on his waist, finally seeing all that is Sander, lying on his bed so comfortably. 

Robbe gently crawls closer to him, lying on top of Sander, nuzzling against the nape of his neck. 

“Am I heavy?” 

“No. You’re perfect.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a soft one, am I right?? Yeah...  
> Anyway, thank you for reading, everyone!!! <33 I'll probably be back soon with the next one


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some weeks have passed, Sander is getting deeper and deeper...

* * *

“You smell like him.” The door was barely opened and Senne was already talking, laughing, and stepping inside, taking his jacket off. 

“Shut up.” Sander takes a deep breath in, knowing Senne is not wrong, but he bites his lower lip, watching as Senne walks inside. “And be quiet, he’s sleeping in my room…” 

Senne stops in the hallway, looking at him in disbelief, shaking his head. 

“He’s in _your bedroom_?” Sander nods his head, ready to hear for the rest of the night how gone he is for a baby omega. They’re not that different in age, but from all the omegas they know, everyone acts like Robbe is a baby. His baby now. 

“Yes, Senne! _My_ bedroom, you’re in my house, remember?” He huffs and goes to the kitchen, hearing Senne’s footsteps behind him. 

Senne’s arms are still open wide in surrender as they get to the kitchen. Senne pulls one of the stools to sit while he waits for Sander to decide what they’re going to drink tonight. “Okay, okay! I’m just here to have a drink with my friend. Won’t touch the child you’re keeping hostage inside your bedroom.” 

Sander rolls his eyes, putting two glasses in front of Senne, offering a bottle of beer for him to decide if he’s going to use the glass anyway. “Senne…come on! Stop saying shit like that, it’s creepy. And don’t forget that your precious Zoe is the same age as Robbe, they’re friends, almost best friends, sharing a roof over their heads, what a cuties…” 

There are some sounds coming from the bedroom, but Sander stops to hear and it’s just Robbe moving around, wiggling his legs to get rid of the sheet, back to breathing calmy as he falls back asleep. 

“Can we… _not_ talk about Zoe tonight? That would be fucking amazing.” Senne talks slowly, careful with every word, with a hint of annoyance and Sander can tell something happened, but he doesn’t need to ask. Senne sighs, putting his beer back on the island without even having a taste of it yet. “Hm, I called Nina by Zoe’s name today…” 

The silence lingers around them while Senne is still looking at his beer, touching it gently with the tips of his fingers, clearly thinking about Zoe, and Sander is really trying to find comforting words to say or a way to help his friend out of the mess he created.

It never happened to him so he doesn’t know how to go about it and he knows Senne is still very much in love with Zoe. Nina is a nice girl, so pretty, but everyone knows Senne doesn’t really like her. 

He might even like her, but it doesn’t compare to his messy situation with Zoe. Sander drinks a little more of his beer to buy himself some time, but Senne finally looks up, raising his eyebrows as Sander swallows his beer. 

“Thank you, very helpful.” 

“What do you want me to say to you? You know my opinion. You shouldn’t be with Nina so stop pretending already.” 

“I like her, Sander!” Senne says it loud and Sander looks at the hall behind them, still no sounds except the peaceful and heavy breathing inside his bedroom. Senne insists on lying and Sander doesn’t really have the patience. 

He puts his beer down too, cleaning his lips with the back of his hand. 

“Liking is not the same as loving and you know that. She’s your girlfriend, you should want to spend time with her, to get to know her. If you’re in a relationship hoping it’ll end soon, then what’s the point?” 

When Robbe is around and Sander can smell him everywhere and hear his breathing, and even feel inside himself Robbe’s every move, it’s hard to focus on something else, but Sander was really trying to help, so much that he didn’t hear sleepy footsteps coming closer and closer. 

“Senne…” Robbe was clearly half asleep, only noticing Senne when they’re already looking at each other, with no way of hiding their presences from each other. 

“Hi, Robbe…” Sender says as he exhales loudly, grabbing his beer and finally drinking it. Sander finally really looks at Robbe. His body is still warm from the bed, radiating comfort and sleepiness, his skin probably so soft and inviting underneath Sander’s shirt. He’s wearing mostly Sander’s clothes. He came earlier after having a fight with Jens or Moyo, Sander is not too sure. He was so worried, with a crying Robbe in his arms, that he just helped him get undressed and under the shower, with warm water trying to balance his temperature back to normal that he forgot the details about whatever disagreement he had with his friends. He's sure Robbe told him, in between sobs and under the shower head though.

His hair is all messy from the bed and from probably sleeping with his hair still damp. Sander tried to help him dry his hair, but Robbe just wanted to lie down with him for a second. Robbe fell asleep and Sander got up when he smelled Senne at his door. 

Sander doesn’t really know what to do now. Robbe and Senne know each other very well and Sander is sure he talked about his relationships with both of them, but it’s just weird, his newest, closest friend seeing that he let someone they know in, not only in his house and that he’s not planning on getting rid of Robbe in any way. Senne has seen Robbe and Robbe is inside the kitchen, wearing his underwear and his shirt and nothing more, clearly wanting to go back to bed, maybe not alone. 

“Are you…hungry?” Sander tries, avoiding to look at Senne. 

Robbe stretches his body a little, his hand going to the back of his neck, making a little noise when he stretches his whole back, quietly looking from him to Senne. “Hm, yeah…?” 

“Ok. I’m hungry too, I can order some pizza…” 

“You sure? I can go if you want…” Senne finally looks up from his beer when Robbe says it full of insecurity and shame in his voice and Sander swallows hard, his mouth as dry as it can be, so he gets up. 

“No!….” He coughs to try and hide his desperation to make Robbe stay for the night, looking at Senne from the corner of his eyes, “No, you can stay. Maybe just take a shower? While we wait for the pizza…” Sander gets up from the stool, Robbe is already starting to slowly move back to his bedroom, but Sander puts his hand on the small of his back and walks with Robbe. 

“Sander, are you sure you don’t want me to leave? I can go and-” Robbe whispers when they get to the bedroom door, turning around to face Sander, looking over his shoulder, trying to see if Senne is still drinking his beer in the kitchen

“No, don’t worry, ok? It’ll take just a minute. Take a shower, put some clothes on, preferably mine so he won’t…smell you” Sander can see a frown starting to show in between Robbe’s eyebrows, “but just wait here, ok? I’ll be back with pizza.” 

“Are you jealous?” Robbe smiles and Sander roll his eyes, gently pushing him inside the bedroom, closing the door slowly. 

“I’ll be back with pizza. You stay here.” 

And Robbe obeys. Sander can hear when he turns the shower on, but he tries with all his strength to keep his mind here, hearing Senne complain about not knowing what to do with Nina. And Zoe. 

Sander is not the best at giving love advice, so he just sits there and listens. Senne knows he’s not good with that kind of thing either, so he just wants to tell someone what’s going on inside his head, hoping it makes more sense out loud and that he can find himself a way out if he hears himself. 

“You like Zoe, though…you know that right?” 

Senne doesn’t answer, barely even moves, just finishes his second beer and lets the empty bottle on the marble island, getting up when someone knocks on the door. The pizza is here.

Senne goes to put his jacket and shoes back on and Sander doesn’t want to tell him to go, but he also wants to enjoy his night with Robbe, help him feel better, talk about what happened. So he follows Senne to the door and opens to get his pizzas, looking at Senne. 

“You sure you don’t want to stay?” Senne sighs in annoyance, getting out once the pizza guy leaves too. 

“No, I’m leaving. Don’t wanna hear you having sex, that would be traumatic. And take a shower, man. You _really_ smell like him, it’s creepy.” 

Senne stops when Sander is about to close the door. 

“Does Britt know he’s here?” 

“Senne…” 

“Hm, troubles in paradise too I see…You should tell her. Liking is not loving, Sander!” 

And just like that, he’s going, rushing down the stairs, leaving Sander staring at his pizzas and thinking.


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

Sander is not a good person. He cares deeply for Robbe, maybe he was impulsive when he bit him, but he doesn’t regret it for one second, Robbe is and will always be the one. The thing is: Sander sometimes likes to make dumb, _dumb_ decisions based on nothing but his instant needs. 

He needs to settle down already or to take it easy, but then he’s at a party, and Britt is constantly all over him, waiting for him to do something about it and they’ve been drinking together for a few hours, talking and flirting. And Sander is really not trying, but it’s just natural. Before he can think he’s already falling for the flirting game that Britt taught him to be a master in.

Like always, they end up stumbling their way to the second floor of Senne’s place, Sander touching the wall behind Britt until he finds an unlocked door that he opens and pushes her inside, locking the door behind him, quickly getting rid of his clothes with her help. 

\- 

Robbe is not answering his texts or calls. Sander tries not to worry, but with every minute without an answer, he starts to get even more anxious. Why is it always like this with them?

Things with Britt were different last time. His body is still sore from all the scratching and for how long they went, so many rounds Sander lost count. Sander knows her well and she was very vocal about what she wanted, but _that_ he can’t give _her_. 

Sander doesn’t plan on being a dad any time soon. And when he said it was just goodbye sex, she was pissed. Britt is also really bad at hiding her emotions and Sander knew a thunderstorm was coming his way when he didn’t do as she wanted, but he was determined to stay as far away as possible from Britt from now on. For his sake and for Robbe’s, but it was too late. 

Robbe knows about what happened, Sander feels it like it’s his own emotions. This is the worst part about being connected to Robbe: he knows the pain he not so accidentally caused. 

He wasn’t planning on telling Robbe, even if it’s hard these days to keep any type of secret between them. Even though they’re in love, Sander doesn’t feel like he needs to tell his every action. Robbe knows how he is, this shouldn’t be a surprise. They’re young and have their entire lives to be together, Robbe is living his life too. 

_Please, Robbe, just pick up your fucking phone. Please?_

Sander sighs, hanging up without being able to reach Robbe again. He almost goes to Britt’s place, asking nicely for her to stay away from Robbe, but there’s no point in that. The damage is already done. Sander knows she went to Robbe to try and ruin what they have. 

-

Robbe is at his place, Sander can smell him, almost sure he’s right behind the door, choosing not to open it, but Sander needs to talk to him, so he knocks again, inhaling sharply, not totally comfortable in forcing Robbe to do things he doesn’t want to, but he won’t go home before they talk. 

“Robbe, open the door.” He takes his hands off the door when he hears Robbe unlocking it, opening against his will, just because Sander said he had to. 

“What are you doing here?” 

Sander feels all his insides writhe as he sees Robbe after a few days. His eyes are red and swollen from crying, talking with a choked voice. “Robbe, you know that’s what she wants, that’s why she came here to tell you everything. You’re giving her exactly what she wants!” 

“You? Yeah, she can have it. I’m not willing to waste my life for your love.” Robbe tries to walk away, but Sander holds his hand, keeping him close. 

“You know you don’t mean that. I’m yours and you’re mine.” Sander puts his other hand on Robbe’s chest, where he feels the scar he left months and months ago. Not as a threat, but as a reminder that nobody else has this, they’re different. 

“Why are you still fucking her then?” Sander sighs loudly, stepping back, still holding Robbe by his fingertips.

“Because! Robbe, we’re so fucking young. Do you really want to spend 50, 60 years just with me? Not knowing anyone else? Not living your youth because you’re stuck with me?You’re even younger, needs to live your life, we’re gonna be together in the end, no matter what.” 

Robbe snorts, stepping back, shaking his head. “This is so much bullshit! What kind of thought is that? I don’t want just the end, I want all of it.” 

Sander tries to think about what to say, but he just stutters, trying to understand what kind of feeling Robbe brings out of him. He’s never seen Robbe like this, so serious and hurt, and because of him. He never felt like this before, Sander doesn’t even know what _this_ is. 

Robbe looks down and Sander’s anxiety starts to get the best of him, making his ears ring. “Is it true that you breeded her?” 

“What? No! Of course not!” Robbe is instantly relieved, but not at all happy yet and Sander just wants them to be ok. “We had sex, Robbe, that was it. I used a condom, I’m not that dumb.” 

Robbe quietly pulls his hand away, walking to his kitchen in silence. 

They’ve been playing this game of push and pull for too long, over a year and they went through some crazy times. Sander’s life changed a lot because of Robbe and their relationship. Anyone before and after Robbe was just fun, just a way to put his energy out, Senne went from a threat to his closest friend, knowing too much about Sander’s feelings for Robbe because, apparently, their smells are constantly mixed nowadays. 

Only when he gets to the kitchen that he smells the pasta that Robbe was making, putting spices and cheese inside the pan, stirring a little too quickly. Sander walks carefully to him, resting his forehead against the back of Robbe’s head, pressing his nose against the nape of his neck. 

“I’m sorry again. Always.” He whispers, trying to calm his breaths, closing his eyes and just enjoying being this close to Robbe, smelling his every emotion, even the bad ones. Sander will gladly accept all of them. 

“I’m tired of your excuses.” 

“I know.” Sander thinks that he can’t risk this, to hurt Robbe so much he gives up eventually. “Do you want me to stop? I won’t kiss anyone else, have sex with anyone else but you.” 

Robbe stops stirring his pasta, looking over his shoulder after a second. Sander knows he’s offering a promise that’s hard for him to keep, but he’s more than willing to try if that makes Robbe happy. 

“Would you?” He raises his eyebrows, turning his body slowly to face Sander, making him step back, already rethinking his words. “Not even flirting with people?”

Sander huffs a laughter, looking into Robbe’s eyes. “If that’s what you want, yes.” 

Robbe’s excitement fades away a little bit and he sighs, shaking his head. “It’s not me who needs to want this, Sander.” 

Sander steps back, not knowing what else to say or do to make Robbe believe him. “Fuck, Robbe…I know! Just give me something to work with.” 

He thinks for a second, meeting Sander’s eyes again as he answers, “Yes. I want that.” 

“So consider it done.” Robbe raises his eyebrows, his cheeks slowly turning a soft pink, his inside getting warmer, softer and Sander laughs, quietly coming closer again. Robbe and his feelings have just that much power over him. “Now, we can forget about the rest of the world and maybe eat something?” 


	7. Chapter 7

* * *

Long fingers connected to a strong hand close to Robbe’s smiling lips, gently stealing the joint straight from his mouth, putting it between stranger, cocky lips, using the “sharing a joint” act as some kind of cliche romance. Sander almost wants to puke while watching the scene from afar. Robbe is at ease, slightly tipsy and so fucking horny.

Sander hates himself for it, but his body now doesn’t care about anyone else, Robbe is the only smell can he can pick, even when he much rather smell anything else other than Robbe wanting someone else. Sander knows Robbe is the perfect personification of a dream guy. A small, lean figure, soft curls framing his perfect innocent face, a coy smile constantly on his thin, pink lips, so fucking polite and sweet and how can someone not be attracted to all of that?

Someone comes closer and stands right next to him, Sander blinks a few times, hating how miserable he’s suddenly feeling, not having to look to know that it’s Senne.

“What does that guy want?” He asks, pointing to the stranger next to Robbe like his thoughts aren’t obvious, anger and jealous written all over his face.

Senne laughs, bumping his shoulder against Sander’s. “They’re just talking, chill out. And Robbe isn’t your property either.”

Sander huffs, finishing his beer at once, thinking about the bite in Robbe’s chest and the soft red marks still painting the side of his neck from days ago. He knows Robbe’s neck is still sensible. When he opened the door for Robbe earlier, he made sure to put his hand on the side of his neck when he kissed Robbe's cheek, pressing his fingers where his lips were days ago. Robbe lifted his shoulder, protecting his neck from Sander’s tickle, smiling and walking away, into the party.

Robbe is not his property, but Sander is the closest person to have him completely. Nobody will ever have what they do, no matter how much they work for it, no matter how nice they look, how good they treat Robbe in exchange for a real chance with him.

Sander starts to overheat and walks away, finding an empty kitchen for him to hide in, walking around in circles, out of breath, trying not to throw his empty bottle against some hard surface to relieve some of his frustration.

But his mood gets even worse when he hears the annoying sigh Senne lets out as he stops at the kitchen’s door.

“What now, Senne? I don’t have to stay and watch him making out with someone else do I?”

“They went upstairs,” Senne says and Sander turns and looks at him, not sure if he wants to punch his face or just die right now. At least the party would be over and Robbe would have to go home, alone, hopefully.

-

He should have gone home last night, the second he knew Robbe had made up his mind to stay with that asshole, but he didn’t. Senne is rich and his couch is better than any bed Sander has ever slept on, but he still couldn’t sleep very well, waking up with every little noise, looking up the stairs in hopes to catch Robbe trying to sneak out.

Nobody closed the curtains so Sander has to keep his eyes closed, completely awake when the sun rises, hitting the couch and his face directly.

Suddenly he’s hit by Robbe’s smell and he opens his eyes only to instantly finding Robbe at the top of the stairs, looking half asleep, but fully dressed, his clothes don’t even look too out of place.

He smells normal again, like himself, not like his feelings, bursting through his skin. Robbe smells like a bonfire, not wild, untamed fire, just the fire you would stare while camping in the middle of nowhere, cuddling up to someone while watching the stars.

Sander moves to lie on his side, watching as Robbe notices him, but comes downstairs without saying anything, his feelings still mostly quiet, warm, and fuzzy like every time he has barely woken up. Sander knows he can’t say a word, but he can’t help but stare, hoping Robbe will say something.

“What are you still doing here?” Robbe whispers softly when he stops right next to the couch, his fingers gently playing with Sander’s hair, putting it to the side so he can see Sander's eyes properly.

“Too drunk to go home so I stayed. How was the night?”

Robbe shrugs and nods his head. “Good…”

“Was _he_ good?” Sander closes his eyes, noticing how dry his throat is. Robbe is still touching his hair and Sander just wants to tell him to stop, but he doesn’t.

“We didn’t have sex, it’s our first date. We just went upstairs because he got tired of you staring at us.” Robbe says with a sleepy smile on his face, talking so easily like he’s telling one of his friends about his date, not Sander.

“ _Us…_ ”

Robbe finally stops touching Sander’s hair just to touch his own, looking to the other side, the sun standing proudly in a cloudless sky. “You said it yourself that we’re young, Sander…”

Sander pushes the covers away from him, standing up in front of Robbe.

“But this is different. Britt means nothing, everyone else means nothing!”

Robbe finally turns his gaze to meet Sander’s. “And why do you think he means something to me?”

“You went on _a date_ with him.” Robbe sighs and shakes his head. “What? Did he light some candles and you two watched the sky while talking about meaningful things? While all the wrong, damaged people were down here committing all types of sins, you were there, with a prince charming, having a fairy tale date. Good for you, Robin.”

Robbe looks down and their conversation is interrupted by someone else on the second floor. Sander takes a deep inhale, watching as the guy comes downstairs and smiles when his eyes meet Robbe’s.

“Thought you were gone already…” He says like Sander is not even there, barely inches away from Robbe and his confidence makes Sander’s blood simmer and his heart drops to his stomach, making him nauseous again. Now that they’re this close, Sander can really take a look at the guy. He’s taller and wider than Sander, but not too much. He tries to get a smell out of him, but nothing except for Robbe's numbling warm scent. Maybe it’s because Sander is so trained to focus on Robbe and only Robbe, but it doesn’t matter. The guy is a nobody. Sander has a hard time bowing down to other people and that usually gets himself in so much trouble, but he’s so close to saying or doing things he might regret, the only thing stopping him is Robbe right next to him, talking so happily to the guy. Sander can’t even hear them, his ears are ringing so loud.

“I’m gonna get the fuck out of here.” He thinks out loud and Robbe finally acknowledges him but doesn’t stop Sander from grabbing his boots on the floor, bumping into the guy as he walks between the two to get out of there. Robbe calls his name once but again doesn’t stop him. Sander slams the door on his way out, walking back home, needing the freezing breeze against his face to calm him down.

Sander doesn’t stay long inside his house, he’s still buzzing with anger and jealousy so he just takes a shower and puts some clean clothes on, staring at the pictures of him and Robbe they glued all around his house not even two days ago.

He tries to be rational, he brought this to himself, Robbe is not guilty, he’s just doing like Sander suggested him to do, but it hurts, like never before. He walks around for hours, just needing to put his energy out somehow. His favorite bar is open, Sander is not very sure what time it is, but as he walks inside, he’s relieved to at least be somewhere where it brings him some kind of comfort.

The guy behind the bar already knows him and serves his beer after a minute or two. The place is still very much empty, the sun has barely set and Sander chugs his beer like it’s the most refreshing water on a hot summer day.

-

“Finally found you…” Robbe’s sudden voice and strong smell brings Sander back from his stupor. He looks around himself, the bar is packed with strangers, even the stools around him have people. He lost count of how much he drank sitting here, alone, feeling sorry for himself.

“Wha are you doing here?” He feels himself say, but it sounds muffled inside his head.

Robbe holds his hands, gently making him turn on the stool and try to stand up, but the floor is moving under him. “Was looking for you. For hours now, actually.”

Suddenly, it hits Sander, almost sobering him up completely. Robbe is about to go into heat. Just the realization makes him want so much, so fast, but he can’t. They’re not together. Robbe probably has someone in mind to help him deal with that. “You’re going into heat…” His lips say before his brain can stop him.

Robbe sighs and blushes and it makes Sander feel just a tiny bit better, that Robbe still blushes because of him. Only then he realizes Robbe using comfy, oversized clothes, layers, and layers of it, clearly not trying to look good for a night out, just comfortable. Sander can almost picture him nesting and _fuck!_ All he wants is to kiss Robbe until he’s melting against the mattress, asking for cuddles.

He stands up on his own, trying to keep a distance from Robbe. “I can’t…you should go,” Sander says like it would help himself from stop smelling and even tasting it.

“Calm down, it’s not here yet…” Robbe comes closer, putting Sander’s arm around his neck, helping him walk home.

They walk with a comfortable silence between them. Sander wants to ask why was Robbe looking for him, how did he know Sander would be there, but lately he can’t help but feel stupid, saying things he doesn’t mean just to keep Robbe at a safe distance from him. He can’t even explain why he does that. Sander wants to be selfish and just be with Robbe, but Robbe is too good for him, for anyone, really.

He doesn’t argue when he notices they’re going to Robbe’s place, he just tries to walk with his own feet the best he can, leaning against Robbe just a little bit. He smells so good.

Robbe only lets go of him when they’re standing outside his door. He helps Sander lean against the wall and unlocks his door, dropping his keys inside as he comes back to help Sander in.

Maybe it’s his drunk brain playing tricks on him and his neediness of Robbe, but when he comes inside, it’s almost like Sander can smell himself in Robbe’s flat. He thinks about the nest Robbe is probably building, wonders if there’s something that belongs to him inside of it. He doesn’t ask, but his answer comes in how Robbe is now avoiding his eyes, taking his jacket and oversized hoodie off, throwing it on the wooden bench right next to the door to deal with it later, his cheeks getting redder. He recognizes his sweatshirt when Robbe takes another hoodie off.

Then Sander can’t bring himself to care about other people, about feelings or hookups, he doesn’t give a shit about anything else other than Robbe. His soft, understanding, so incredibly sweet and in love Robbe.

His hand goes to Robbe’s jaw before he can talk himself out of it and the way Robbe instantly parts his lips make a growl grow big inside Sander’s chest, but he manages to close his mouth for a second to stop it from coming out, stepping into Robbe’s personal space, making him look up, his lips still a little open, looking up at Sander.

“Do you want me or him? I’m sure he gave you his num-”

“You,” Robbe answers softly in a quiet whimper and Sander bites the inside of his lips not to drunkenly smile back at Robbe.

“Are you sure, Robbe?”

“You’ll do what I want, right?” Sander can only nod his head, not sure anymore if he’s able to hide his true feelings and emotions from his face or his smell. “So what I was trying to say: I want you.”

He can’t see, but he knows Robbe stands on his tiptoes, asking for a kiss and Sander can never say no to him, so he pulls him closer by his jaw, slowly licking Robbe’s lips - from bottom to top - making him properly open his mouth and sigh with the anticipation. 

They kiss and Robbe finally opens up for him again, wrapping both his arms around Sander’s neck, keeping them as close as possible and Sander helps him but his legs around his hips, smiling against his lips.

“Nobody has what we have. You’re mine, Robin.” He whispers while still with his eyes closed. Robbe can probably smell everything he’s trying to hide, but he keeps his eyes close just to pretend to himself, walking to Robbe’s bedroom, his hand in the small of his back underneath the oversized sweatshirt, kissing him like it’s all he needs to live.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is still enjoying this messy ride <3


	8. Chapter 8

* * *

They went to bed really late, Sander is not sure, but it felt like the sun was starting to warm the sheets underneath him when he fell asleep.

Maybe it wasn’t the sun, maybe the sheets were still warm from the rolling around every few minutes, trying to find a cold spot where they could start all over again. His head is hurting a little, but it’s easy to ignore when he feels a weight on his chest, drool drying where he feels a slow and warm breath against his naked chest. And the smell is even better.

If he could, Sander would definitely save Robbe’s smell somewhere that he could smell it whenever he needed it. It gets even better when they’re together, can even cure his hangover and shame for being found drunk inside a bar, craving Robbe’s reassurance that he was still the one.

Sander huffs a laughter, covering his face with his hands, embarrassed but also happy that Robbe went looking and even found him. Only he could find Sander. Robbe is still clearly far from waking up, but Sander still misses him, still needs to look at Robbe with his open brown eyes staring up at Sander and know that he still likes him, even if just a little bit. 

So Sander moves carefully, with his eyes constantly on Robbe’s face, stopping whenever he frowns and whines, he moves to slowly lie on his side, pulling his arms from underneath Robbe’s head.

Once he’s out of Robbe’s reach, his instincts crave his touch and his warmth again, but Sander controls himself, crawling on top of Robbe, carefully sitting on his tighs as Robbe pulls his pillow closer, burying his face against it and falling back asleep. Sander watches for a little more, trying to save every detail perfectly inside his brain, but then he wants to kiss Robbe _so badly._

He moves back to his knees and hands, smiling to the sleepy Robbe underneath him, starting to kiss the side of his neck, looking up constantly to make sure Robbe’s eyes are still shut.

Sander makes sure to not miss a single inch of his back, smiling against his smooth skin when Robbe shivers or when he feels his muscles moving under his skin due to his gentle kisses. He stops when his shin bumps into Robbe’s underwear and Sander looks up, almost sure Robbe is awake by now, just pretending to be asleep. Sander kisses the small of his back slowly, getting closer and closer to his ass.

“Stop,” Robbe whispers with a raspy voice and Sander does as he’s told, just touching Robbe’s skin when he asks.

“What? I wasn’t going anywhere…” Sander teases, biting his lip when he feels Robbe quietly lifting his hips from the mattress. He whines and opens his legs, bending one leg up to his side until his left foot meets his right knee.

“I know, that’s why I asked you to stop…because I’m gonna have to force you to go lower…” Sander looks up and he can’t see, but he hears Robbe’s smile in the way that he talks.

Sander likes to tease and Robbe likes it just as much, so Sander bites as close as he can to Robbe’s boxers, slowly moving it down with both his hands, having to swallow his own moan when he feels Robbe’s ass filling both his hands.

He’s not in a rush so he takes his times sitting on his heels, slowly pulling Robbe’s underwear down his legs, carefully taking it off his feet. Robbe’s phone keeps buzzing nonstop on his nightstand, but Sander is more than happy to ignore it, but Robbe moves away from him, snaking his way up the bed to reach for it.

“Robbe…”

“Just a second, stay right where you are.” Sander sighs as loud as he can to make his annoyance clear, but he sits back on his heels like he was told to do and he waits. Robbe moves to lie on his back and press play and Sander’s patience flies out the window the instant he hears the voice.

_Hey, Robbe…it’s me. You left me on read last night after our date…I’m sorry if I said something stupid or…I don’t know, wasn’t what you were expecting…I thought our date was going so fucking good. Please, can we have another one? If I didn’t say or do anything wrong and you just really needed to go, can we have another one? Maybe we could go somewhere…more private…Anyway, please, Robbe. If you feel like it, let’s go on another date…you’re perfect and I’m not one to give up easily._

Sander quickly crawls on top of Robbe again, grabbing Robbe’s phone from his hand - keeping it high enough over his head so Robbe won’t reach - before he can start typing a reply to that ridiculously cheesy and disgusting audio.

“You were on a date last night?” Sander is glad he managed to hide how feral he’s going inside because of the newfound information.

Robbe tries to reach his phone, but Sander is sitting on his stomach, not letting him move much. “It was just a couple of drinks.”

“Why did you leave him? It sounds like it was sudden…”

“I wanted to go look for you,” Robbe answers easily with no shame or stress. Sander frowns, but his instincts love Robbe’s words, he almost hums because of it.

“Why?”

“Just because.” Robbe settles back against his pillow, sighing in annoyance, but his body is still very relaxed in between Sander's thighs.

“It was because of the heat.” It’s the only explanation Sander can think of and one side of him gets really cocky thinking about Robbe needing _him_ during his heat, not anyone else.

“No, _Sander._ You always think everything is that physical, huh?”

“It isn’t?” He has to ask, sounding more confident than how he feels. “Are you going to answer him?”

“Should I just read and ignore his texts?”

“Yes?” It’s the obvious answer, but Sander knows Robbe would never do that. He’s way too nice.

“Sander…”

He rolls his eyes and gives Robbe his phone back, moving away from him, searching for his underwear in the mess of clothes, blankets, and pillows they threw out of the bed during the night. Everything smells the same and Sander just wants a quick way out, not feeling like listening to his Robbe flirty-texting someone else.

So he finally finds it and puts his underwear and rushes out of the bedroom, ignoring Robbe’s requests for him to stay there.

Robbe’s place is oddly organized and clean. It’s probably part of his nesting craves. Not that he’s not usually organized, but it feels extra clean and homey this morning. The soft yellow sunlight diffusing when meeting Robbe’s white curtains turn the whole flat into a pastel yellow. It’s very soft, but Sander starts to feel too hot with all this warm light surrounding him from every direction.

He goes straight to the kitchen, looking down, too inside himself to remember where the cups are. With each cabinet he opens and doesn’t find what he’s looking for, Sander gets more frustrated, thinking that Robbe is not there to tell him where things are because he’s too busy trying to keep a stranger interested. His heart is beating too fast, too big inside his small ribcage.

He finally finds the cups, glasses ones that feel heavy on his hand, probably expensive. And Sander just needs to let some of his energy out and it just feels too necessary not to. He throws the glass across the room with all his strength, watching as one cup turns into hundreds of pieces on the old tile floor.

It helps, but only for the quickest second. Way too soon, Sander is back to feeling anxious, feeling his skin harsh and sensitive, almost too tight for him and he just wants to scream, to find another way to let his frustrations out.

Robbe’s worried voice is muffled by the walls between them, but it makes Sander start moving around the kitchen, collecting all the glass from the floor, putting it all on his palm to find a way to throw away after.

He hears the smooth sound Robbe’s socks make as he rushes against the wood floor and stops at the kitchen door.

“What happened?” Sander could hear Robbe coming and still, he jumps when he hears him just a few feet away from him, instantly feeling one of the glasses sinking into his palm.

“Fuck!” He gets up and drops all the glass inside the sink, opening his hand again to see a string of blood turn wider in his palm, soon painting his whole hand bright red.

“Shit, Sander…” Robbe comes closer before Sander can ask him not to, grabbing his hand and opening the tap and the cold water hits the cut instantly. “Do you think there’s some glass inside your cut?” Robbe leans down, looking at his hand closely.

Sander can handle pain, he thinks he’s quite good at it, but something about this cut crossing his entire palm crosswise it’s almost unbearable. He's not sure if it's that or still his possessiveness with Robbe. 

“No, shit, it was just a cut, it’s clean.” He’s not sure, but he says like he is, Robbe’s body is in front of him, keeping Sander from seeing his own hand. He feels Robbe’s gentle touch close to his injury, pressing carefully, still letting the water wash the blood out.

Sander puts his working hand on Robbe’s shoulder, his inspection is starting to make Sander nauseous and dizzy.

“Can you just get me some bandage?”

His touch makes Robbe listen and nod his head, instantly putting Sander's hand carefully back down against the cold counter, rushing to the bathroom. Sander can hear when his nervous hands drop probably everything inside the bathroom cabinets in search of something to put on Sander’s hand. He doesn’t look at his hand, but lets it under the water, waiting for Robbe.

More loud noises, Robbe probably kicking things out of his way to go back to the kitchen.

“Here.” He rushes to Sander’s side, putting a bunch of plastic bags on the counter, opening the bandages, and biting some tape off to put around it.

Sander lets him lead, distracting himself by how gentle and caring Robbe is. He cleans and dries the cut very carefully, looking closely as he puts the bandage precisely over it, rolling the tape all around his hand on both ends, making sure it’s not too tight, but tight enough.

“I don’t wanna lose you, Robbe.” He realizes and says it out loud at the same time, noticing how Robbe is caught by surprise, stopping for a second from gathering all the empty packages.

“I’m afraid that’s not possible either, so…” He says easily, with no weight or actual meaning to his words, and Sander bites the inside of his cheek, hating that he has to explain when he’s talking seriously. Even if he takes it so lightly, Sander doesn’t want his bite to be an excuse that Robbe often uses to Sander and to himself as to why they keep coming back to each other.

Sander is in love. He knows that now and he thinks Robbe might be in love too and the thought of it just being because of his bite makes Sander want to leave and never come back, feeling so ashamed. Robbe is better off without him anyway.

Robbe finally lets go of his hand and turns around, but his eyes only meet Sander’s for a brief moment, stepping to the side to throw everything away. Sander inhales deeply, looking at Robbe. “You have a choice, I won’t force you to be with me, you don’t deserve that. I’m sure a lot of people did it differently, not staying with…you know, _the ones._ ”

Robbe nods his head, still looking down, leaning against the counter behind him.

“I know.”

“I like you, Robbe. That’s what you wanna hear? I’m falling in love with you and I just don’t know what to do with that, I never fell in love before and I’m just fucking struggling! But I like you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, the two of us, forever.”

Robbe looks up through his lashes and huffs the smallest laughter, his long, soft brown hair moving with him and Sander wishes he could live this morning over and over again, for the rest of his life.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, we're finally getting some backstory and some fluff!!!! Things are - hopefully - getting a little easier to understand.

* * *

It’s Noor’s birthday, Britt’s best friend since they were tiny little babies. Sander heard that story too many times, Britt loved to tell him and anyone else, really, how she got the perfect _best friend for life_ story.

Anyone else would say it’s the worst idea to bring your new and first boyfriend to your ex-girlfriend’s best friend party, but all the way or no way, right?

Sander just wants to be done with all this awkwardness. Britt is his ex, it wasn’t even official between them for him, but Sander guesses anyone else would count constantly making out with the same person for over a year as a “relationship”. For him, she was just always someone he knew that he went to when they both needed to have safe sex with someone they trusted. They’ve known each other for a long time too, maybe that’s what made her so bitter about Robbe and what made so hard for Sander to let go.

Britt is the safest choice, the easy, basic, boring one that everyone expects him to have feelings for.

Robbe is like jumping off a cliff into the complete pitch black dark. They lived very different lives, have very different personalities, but Sander can’t control how he feels, that’s not how it works, especially not for him. Since he was a kid, he always felt everything deeply, no half cup empty or full bullshit and so he knows there’s no running away from how he feels about Robbe and how the boy feels about him.

And Sander is not sure if he would want to do it even if he had the chance. Robbe is addicting, a breath of fresh air with his soft and trusting personality, always giving Sander another chance and then another chance and then another.

“Do you really wanna go?” He decides to ask his date for the night, hoping Robbe will say he would rather stay home or go somewhere else, just the two of them.

“Yeah…Noor is cool, no?” Robbe answers as he comes back from the bathroom, his brown-growing-like-grass hair still damp from the shower, zipping his jeans up and buttoning and Sander smiles, he’s so hot even when he doesn’t try to be.

“She is, but she can also be overprotective of Britt. And she used to have a crush on you.” Sander raises his eyebrows and Robbe huffs, smiling and shaking his head, grabbing his wet towel from the bedroom floor and throwing inside the bathroom, clearly not leaving it where a towel should go, but Sander doesn’t feel like being the annoying guy.

“You don’t know that!”

“What?? Yes, I do. I used to hang out with them before I met you, don’t you remember? I used to have friends, go to other places other than your house. Heard a lot of comments about you coming from Noor. Stupid giggles as she and Britt went on with their girly conversation about cute boys like yourself.”

Robbe comes closer, sensing Sander’s annoyance and maybe hints of jealousy, and Sander sits on the bed instinctively, watching as Robbe moves like he’s in slow motion, coming to sit on his lap, one leg on each side of him, a soft whiny complaint coming from his lips. “I think you’re lying. Or your opinion was already bias, so you were hearing my name everywhere.”

Sander rolls his eyes and looks away and back to Robbe once he manages to hide his feelings from his eyes again, but he knows Robbe can feel how he truly feels.

“So full of yourself, huh? Are you ready? Can we go?”

Robbe nods his head and his fingertips press against Sander’s nape, sending shivers down his spine. “Just a second,” he says right before he kisses Sander.

-

They end up taking a lot more than just a second, but somehow, Robbe manages to drag Sander out of his apartment, down the stairs, on one bike to Noor’s place across the city. It’s getting late so the streets are almost empty. And Sander has no intention on going anywhere without Robbe tonight so why not use just one bike, it’s safer that way, he can keep his eyes on Robbe sitting in front of him and on the road at the same time.

Robbe keeps leaning forward, putting his hands in the middle of the handlebar, putting his chin on top of it, watching the city rush past them. Sander can’t help but lean closer every few minutes, kissing the back of his neck, loving to hear Robbe’s giggle as he tries to keep Sander away from his neck.

Life never felt this fun, this fulfilling.

It’s been a long time since Sander came to Noor’s place, a few months, at least. The security guards outside the brand new building follow him and Robbe with their eyes, probably disapproving the two loud, dumb boys, but also having some fun during their boring shifts looking at nothing. Robbe jumps on his back and Sander carries him inside, the receptionist doesn’t even ask for their information, she remembers Sander and so she just lets them continue on their path to the elevators.

Sander tries to ignore the kisses Robbe is so quietly leaving on his neck, behind his ear, but as soon as they’re inside the elevator, completely alone, going up more than twenty floors, he puts Robbe back on the floor and keeps him cornered against one of the walls, trying to ignore his teasing smile before they kiss, both moaning when their lips meet for the first time in maybe twenty minutes.

Robbe puts his arms around Sander’s neck, where they belong, pulling him even closer and Sander sneaks one hand under his shirt, sweatshirt and jacket, scratching his abs, smiling against Robbe’s lips when he has to stop the kiss to moan, keeping the other hand right in the curve where his shoulder turns into his warm neck.

“We have to stop…” Robbe gasps out of breath, looking up to check which floor they’re at.

_15\. Fucking new buildings and their faster-than-light elevators._

Sander sighs almost in sync to the elevator door opening in one smooth movement. Robbe looks up and pushes his hips off the wall, standing straight and Sander steps back, holding the door and Robbe gets out first, waiting for him in the hall.

The music is not too loud, but they can still hear it, one of those transcending music that Noor likes that feels like drugs in the form of music. Makes you high once you’re inside a closed apartment, feeling the beats inside your bones, kind of slow, but also fast, feeling your ears, buzzing. Sander hates it so much, his senses get so lost, but they’re here already.

“So…you go in first and I’ll wait?” Robbe asks, avoiding to meet his eyes, using as an excuse that his clothes are all messy from Sander’s curious hands in the elevator. But Sander waits, once Robbe is done with his clothes, he finally looks up and Sander’s heart skips a beat just by having Robbe’s full attention.

“No, we came together so we’re going inside together.” Sander holds Robbe’s brown jacket and pulls him closer, leaving a soft kiss on his lips before walking up to the door, opening and instantly, the music takes over, the flashing lights and smoke that smell like the strongest weed, Sander can almost taste it. His hand finds Robbe's and that’s what grounds him, walking through the fog, trying to find familiar faces.

“Sander! You came!” He hears Noor’s happy voice before he can see her or where she’s coming from, but then she’s in his arms, hugging him tightly. Sander gives her a one-arm hug and tries to smile when she looks at him, just then seeing Robbe right next to him, holding his hand. “Robbe…! I didn’t know you were coming.”

Robbe steps closer to them so Noor can hear him over the music. “Hm, yeah, sorry…Sander asked me to come with him as his plus one…”

“Is it okay? You said I could bring someone with me.” Sander asks even though she did tell him he could bring anyone. She was probably not expecting it to be Robbe, her crush, making them sort of official to the rest of the world at her party. “We can go if there’s drama with Britt…” Sander says against Noor’s ear, her eyes still on Robbe, the whole situation getting weirder by the second.

“No, of course not! I said you could bring someone, of course. Welcome, Robbe! There are drinks for days and food somewhere, please, stay, you two.”

She sounds honest and even happy, quickly making sure to resolve the weirdness between them. Sander nods his head and smiles, giving her a happy birthday wish, promising to bring some gift another time, and Noor smiles and quickly hugs them, moving on to talk to someone else. Sander looks at Robbe and kisses his temple.

“I told you it was fine. She’s cool.” Robbe smiles shyly and Sander holds his hand tighter, trying to find Robbe’s crew where he can feel more at ease.

Robbe finds them first. He suddenly stops and changes their direction drastically, sure of where he’s going blindly until they’re close enough and Sander recognizes the two taller figures and the smaller one. Jens, Moyo, and Aaron, his best friends. 

“Robbe!” They all scream and drag the “e” for a second, raising their arms and hugging their friend quickly, moving on to do the same with Sander like they’re just as close like they’re to Robbe.

But Sander is happy to stay with them for the night. The rest is just a bunch of rich strangers to them (even though the strangers are mostly Sander’s childhood friends) and Sander knows it’s like being inside the enemy’s cave and he just wants Robbe to have a good night, being out and proud with Sander, holding his hand constantly like they were made to stick together, anywhere, everywhere.

Some time goes by, Sander doesn’t really know how much, but they haven’t moved from the spot they met with Robbe’s friends. Sander just got tired of standing and leaned against a wall behind him, leaving one arm around Robbe’s shoulders and he snuggled closer too, leaning against Sander as he talked to his friends and they smoked not the best weed available. If he had the will to let go of Robbe, Sander is sure he could find some better weed for these boys in no time, probably the best weed they would ever taste, but he can’t have the strength in him to go find a dealer. And he’s also scared about how shitfaced they would get smoking actual, good weed, not the grass their dealer sells them as weed.

A shadow appears from the foggy party and Sander is so happy to see a familiar face.

“I was looking for you…” Senne smiles when Robbe and Sander recognize him, he shakes Sander’s hand and hugs Robbe a little too long.

“Where’s Zoe?” Sander frowns, but the question doesn’t seem to upset Senne at all. He actually smiles and points his head over his shoulder.

“Somewhere saying hi to Jana. How are you two lovebirds?”

Robbe laughs coyly and Sander wants to kiss him for being constantly so cute and at ease.

“We’re ok.” Sander answers for the two of them and Senne raises his eyebrows, nodding his head, looking at the other boys too, shaking their hands finally.

Sander feels bad for them, kind of stuck in a corner for the whole night, afraid to go elsewhere and run into some cocky rich alpha that would love to put them in their places. 

“You have weed?” He asks Senne and he looks back at him again, nodding his head, both hands inside the pockets of his black jeans jacket.

“Yeah. You’re smoking again?”

“No, for them.” He nods his head, pointing to Jens, Moyo, and Aaron looking like puppies now, almost drooling at the thought of experimenting their weed.

Senne thinks for a second, probably regretting saying he had it, but he finally pulls the small bag from his pocket, hiding perfectly as he gives it to Jens that holds it and hides it just as fast.

The boys are gone the next minute and Robbe snuggles even closer and Senne rolls his eyes.

“And Britt? No scenes yet?” Sander sighs, wrapping his arm tighter around Robbe’s shoulders, holding his hand now that they’re closer. 

“Haven’t seen her, don’t plan on doing so either.” He can feel Robbe’s sudden awkwardness to be here, witnessing this conversation so he kisses his temple, breathing him in.

“Yeah, it’s probably for the best, but I’m glad you came and brought him with you.” Senne smiles proudly and Sander shows him the middle finger. He acts like he was ever a matchmaker!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took a while, but it's finally over!   
> This got a little out of hand, but I'm actually so proud and so happy with how this story turned out. I love this AU, hope you guys enjoyed as much as I did with my first try at writing abo.   
> I'm gonna miss writing this, thank you so much for everyone that insisted with this crazy, messy love story <3

* * *

Robbe is worried, so worried, of course, but he can’t bring himself to do anything. His instincts tell him, scream inside of him even, to keep a safe distance from an alpha that’s clearly struggling.

They’re basically living together since Senne brought Robbe to Sander’s place, but they’ve mostly been living in separate rooms of the gigantic flat. Robbe is sleeping on the couch after a lot of arguing with Sander about it and he’s in his bedroom, barely left the room for the past three days.

Robbe feels stupid. He should have known this would happen. Sander would have an episode and he wouldn’t know what to do. Senne insisted just him being there, where Sander could smell him, it would be helpful, but Robbe doesn’t understand how he just been here, but away from Sander could help in any way.

Maybe Britt was good for Sander because of that, she knew what to do or she left him alone and wasn’t bothered by the distance. Robbe needs to be close to Sander and this emotional distance is getting the best of him. He forces himself out of the couch, even though it’s a really good couch, can probably fit 10 Robbes lying down. It’s probably better than his own bed, but it’s still bad because he’s alone in it.

Leaning forward against the kitchen counter, Robbe tries to find a recipe that’s easy enough for him to follow. He can’t help his eyes to wander to the right, watching the bedroom door still closed, no sounds coming from the inside.

On days like this, it’s hard to separate his emotions from Sander’s, but the fact that he’s up is a good sign. Two days ago it was too much, as soon as he got inside the apartment, Sander’s emotions occupied every inch of his body, they were all over the place and it was overwhelming, even more than overwhelming, it left Robbe in shock, not knowing what to do with himself. Robbe couldn’t stop crying, feeling hopeless, not knowing how to help and to make it stop for both of them.

As he’s putting the homemade pizza dough in the oven, he suddenly feels relaxed, a little more awake and he hears the shower being turned on inside Sander’s bedroom. He should rush to finish their dinner so it’s ready when Sander comes out, but he stops again, sitting on the big marble island, needing to use this to relax too, and so he closes his eyes, almost feeling how his skin would feel with the steamy air wetting his soft skin after hours of sleeping under heavy comforters.

He’s seen Sander take a shower enough times to be able to imagine it perfectly. His head down, letting the water hit the back of his head, his muscles contracting a little as he takes slow and deep breathes in and out. Robbe wishes he was there to kiss him for a minute or two under the hot and relaxing water.

He thinks about sneaking inside the bedroom to collect the dirty clothes, maybe change the sheets if he has time, but he can’t bring himself to stop daydreaming of better days. And if he got closer to the bedroom, the bed still warm from Sander’s body, smelling like him, Robbe wouldn’t resist the urge to lie down and stay there.

He opens his eyes as he stops hearing the water from the shower, he swallows hard and slips back to the floor, trying to think where he stopped with their dinner.

Sometimes Robbe wonders if this is the best for both of them: to be together. It feels like a lot of work and he doesn’t want to bother Sander, Robbe just wants him to have a good, chill life. Maybe he should have kept his distance once the other guy showed up. He was an easy way out, away from Sander, but Robbe doesn’t know how to resist his own feelings. He loves Sander and that’s it. Nobody else.

Robbe opens the two-door fridge, looking for tomatoes to make a fresh sauce, maybe more cheese, some dressings. As he’s putting everything on the counter again, he hears the bedroom door being unlocked.

Sander walks with his head down and his shrunken shoulders. He comes closer and closer and Robbe steps back until his back hits the island and Sander is really not the clingy type, but Robbe lets him be, sinking it all in, sighing as he sits on the island again and Sander buries his face against his neck. His body is heavy, relaxed against Robbe’s and he slowly puts his arms around Robbe’s waist, not really touching him.

“I’ve missed you,” he whispers against the neck and Robbe tries to hold back the shivers going down his body, playing gently with Sander’s hair.

“I missed you too, but I can wait…” Robbe kisses Sander’s temple, looking at how his hair is still a little damp on the tips and in the back of his head, “I made pizza for us!”

Sander nods his head but doesn’t answer, moving his face just to bury his nose even deeper against Robbe’s neck, taking a deep breath in. He’s relaxed, comfortable, but still melancholic. He wants to hug him so tightly, but Robbe is not sure if Sander is really comfortable for that type of touch now.

“I still need to put cheese and let it melt for a little inside the oven. Can you help me?”

It takes a moment, but Sander finally moves away from his neck, his eyes still mostly closed, sighing and looking at Robbe.

“Yeah, of course.” He sounds annoyed, but also kind of pleased.

“You don’t have to…” Robbe says softly, smiling, and trying to comb Sander’s hair out of his face.

“I know, but if I don’t force myself to do something now, it’ll take double the time to end this…”

Robbe nods his head even though he’s not sure he should agree with that. Sander forcing himself to do something doesn’t sound the best way to go about things, about his episodes when just a few hours ago he was still very much inside his own head, not thinking clearly.

“I know how much I can push, don’t worry,” Sander answers all his doubts and Robbe smiles kindly, jumping off the counter, feeling Sander’s eyes following him as he opens the oven, taking their pizza doughs out, crispy and looking like bread, just like he likes his pizzas to look like.

He shows and tells everything he’s doing like Sander is a student and he’s the best pizza maker ever. Sander helps him slice some cheese and put some extra sauce on his, listening to Robbe while he tries to tell him how the last couple of days went, hoping to help Sander distract himself.

“I think we did well,” Robbe says, looking at the two plates with two perfectly cooked cheese pizzas with tomatoes on the top ten minutes later. Sander doesn’t feel like a fancy dinner, so they’re going to eat sitting on the island, drinking iced water that Sander loves so much.

“Didn’t know you could cook.” Sander kisses the top of his head and Robbe looks at him, smiling, gently touching his face with his fingertips, so happy to have him awake and present.

“I learned tonight.” Robbe grabs his phone, sitting on the kitchen island since this morning when he talked to Senne, and he takes a picture, sending it to all their friends, instantly getting a bunch of replies of how good it looks, a bunch of happy emojis, probably happy about being two plates, not just one.

They eat in silence, it’s a good type of silence. Robbe doesn’t need anything else. His insecurities can be dealt with later, but he forgets Sander can feel what he feels just like Robbe did with him this whole week.

“I love you. Thank you for staying. You don’t know, but everything is a lot easier to deal with when you’re around.” He looks at Sander, avoiding to meet his eyes, finishing his pizza. And Robbe smiles, kissing his jaw, putting his pizza aside to finish later, it’s much more interesting watching Sander right now.


End file.
